How Can I Forgive You?: The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To (Paperback)
Until now, we have been taught that forgiveness is good for us and that good people forgive. Dr. Spring, a gifted therapist and the award-winning author of After the Affair, proposes a radical, life-affirming alternative that lets us overcome the corrosive effects of hate and get on with our lives—without forgiving. She also offers a powerful and unconventional model for genuine forgiveness—one that asks as much of the offender as it does of us.
This bold and healing book offers step-by-step, concrete instructions that help us make peace with others and with ourselves, while answering such crucial questions as these:
- How do I forgive someone who is unremorseful or dead?
- When is forgiveness cheap?
- What is wrong with refusing to forgive?
- How can the offender earn forgiveness?
- How do we forgive ourselves for hurting another human being?
About the Author
Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D., is a nationally acclaimed expert on issues of trust, intimacy, and forgiveness. In private practice in Westport, Connecticut, she is the author of the award-winning How Can I Forgive You?, The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To, and Life with Pop: Lessons on Caring for an Aging Parent.
“Spring really shines.... Armed with her insights, offenders and those they’ve offended have hope of recovery.”
— Bellingham Herald
“A truly stellar book putting forgiveness in a new, revealing light and provides clear steps to turn wounds into wisdom.”
— Joan Borysenko, Ph.D., author of Minding the Body, Mending the Mind
“This book is a treasure trove for anyone who has ever felt betrayed or hurt by a personal relationship.”
— Peggy Papp, author of Couples on the Fault Line: New Directions for Therapists
“Clear, insightful…a thoughtful exposition on the nuanced role of forgiveness in relationships that goes beyond the average self-help book.”
— Publishers Weekly
“A fresh and original approach to an ancient challenge.”
— Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., author of Getting the Love You Want