How Can I Forgive You?: The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To (Paperback)

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Until now, we have been taught that forgiveness is good for us and that good people forgive. Dr. Spring, a gifted therapist and the award-winning author of After the Affair, proposes a radical, life-affirming alternative that lets us overcome the corrosive effects of hate and get on with our lives—without forgiving. She also offers a powerful and unconventional model for genuine forgiveness—one that asks as much of the offender as it does of us.

This bold and healing book offers step-by-step, concrete instructions that help us make peace with others and with ourselves, while answering such crucial questions as these:

  • How do I forgive someone who is unremorseful or dead?
  • When is forgiveness cheap?
  • What is wrong with refusing to forgive?
  • How can the offender earn forgiveness?
  • How do we forgive ourselves for hurting another human being?

About the Author

Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D., is a nationally acclaimed expert on issues of trust, intimacy, and forgiveness. In private practice in Westport, Connecticut, she is the author of the award-winning How Can I Forgive You?, The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To, and Life with Pop: Lessons on Caring for an Aging Parent.

Praise For…

“Spring really shines.... Armed with her insights, offenders and those they’ve offended have hope of recovery.”
— Bellingham Herald

“A truly stellar book putting forgiveness in a new, revealing light and provides clear steps to turn wounds into wisdom.”
— Joan Borysenko, Ph.D., author of Minding the Body, Mending the Mind

“This book is a treasure trove for anyone who has ever felt betrayed or hurt by a personal relationship.”
— Peggy Papp, author of Couples on the Fault Line: New Directions for Therapists

“Clear, insightful…a thoughtful exposition on the nuanced role of forgiveness in relationships that goes beyond the average self-help book.”
Publishers Weekly

“A fresh and original approach to an ancient challenge.”
— Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., author of Getting the Love You Want
Product Details
ISBN: 9780060009311
ISBN-10: 0060009314
Publisher: William Morrow Paperbacks
Publication Date: February 1st, 2005
Pages: 272
Language: English